So, kind readers, you would be aware of the fact that this year saw the end of my long term relationship. Whether it be for better or for worse (for the record, it's most likely for the better) I can easily say it's the hardest thing I have been through. It has been a particularly messy break-up and I miss him every day. I have been strong for long periods, avoiding all contact with him but every now and then I get sucked back in and EVERY time I try to embrace forgiveness and find a place for him in my life I just get burnt again. The phrase "Fire. Burn. Ouch" is now accepted language in my friendship group.
So I have had to say good-bye, forever. This is, unfortunately, not a person I can have a break from and go back to a healthy relationship with in the future.As much as I love this person they are broken, the broke me, and they would rather avoid their problems than to work on them and this is where the finality rests. When you can't trust your own feelings with someone else it is bad enough, when you can't even trust their idea of their own reality it is, quite literally, a destructive fire that will destroy anything that gets too close.
Having to choose to say good-bye (i.e. not as a result of death), forever, to a person who you have known better than anyone else (who you have loved more than anyone else despite their shortcoming) is something I would never wish on anyone. In defending my own well-being I have had to be tough with him, far tougher than I have ever been with anyone. In 32 years of life, this is the hardest thing I have had to do, not simply in 2011.
So I have had to say good-bye, forever. This is, unfortunately, not a person I can have a break from and go back to a healthy relationship with in the future.As much as I love this person they are broken, the broke me, and they would rather avoid their problems than to work on them and this is where the finality rests. When you can't trust your own feelings with someone else it is bad enough, when you can't even trust their idea of their own reality it is, quite literally, a destructive fire that will destroy anything that gets too close.
Having to choose to say good-bye (i.e. not as a result of death), forever, to a person who you have known better than anyone else (who you have loved more than anyone else despite their shortcoming) is something I would never wish on anyone. In defending my own well-being I have had to be tough with him, far tougher than I have ever been with anyone. In 32 years of life, this is the hardest thing I have had to do, not simply in 2011.
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