The wonderful Decoybetty wrote this which prompted Evolving Revolver to write this which in turn prompted me to write this on Evolving Revolver's comments. I wanted to share it here too.
Being genuinely happy for others is a skill I have evolved over time. I used to find it really hard and have spent a lot of time comparing myself with others. It just compounds your own hurt though. It;s not always easy to be 'genuine' about it though - usually the genuine part comes after a period of time spent actually comes after a period of choosing to overcome your own jealousy. Your 'happiness' starts off a little contrived but by choosing to be positive for someone else it actually ends up being genuine within you!
An example this year is when my gorgeous friend "Mrs Hampshire" married right at the time when my two year relationship ended in really horrible circumstances. It was an incredibly tough time in my life, filled with bitterness, deceit and a really unfair amount of pain. I felt horribly lonely and my life felt destroyed. Yet here was one of my most favourite people in the world committing her life to her husband and doing so so humbly and beautifully.
I decided to revel in her happiness and it actually really helped me to rediscover some hope and some joy. It also taught me that appreciating each thing for what it is separate of anything else that is going on is the way forward. Just because I was alone didn't make it any less amazing that Mrs Hampshire was so happy and it actually didn't make me any less happy for her if I pulled my head above the tendency to wallow in my own loneliness. Plus, when she got back from her honeymoon, I got to spill my heart to her about my pain and some of the thoughts I had about it all whilst she was away and a far more constructive way then I would have whilst it was all happening and I was loved and supported really genuinely by her.
Like Decoybetty and Evolving Revolver I want to be more conscious of incorporating this into my life in future.
An example this year is when my gorgeous friend "Mrs Hampshire" married right at the time when my two year relationship ended in really horrible circumstances. It was an incredibly tough time in my life, filled with bitterness, deceit and a really unfair amount of pain. I felt horribly lonely and my life felt destroyed. Yet here was one of my most favourite people in the world committing her life to her husband and doing so so humbly and beautifully.
I decided to revel in her happiness and it actually really helped me to rediscover some hope and some joy. It also taught me that appreciating each thing for what it is separate of anything else that is going on is the way forward. Just because I was alone didn't make it any less amazing that Mrs Hampshire was so happy and it actually didn't make me any less happy for her if I pulled my head above the tendency to wallow in my own loneliness. Plus, when she got back from her honeymoon, I got to spill my heart to her about my pain and some of the thoughts I had about it all whilst she was away and a far more constructive way then I would have whilst it was all happening and I was loved and supported really genuinely by her.
Like Decoybetty and Evolving Revolver I want to be more conscious of incorporating this into my life in future.
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