After all the optimism of the last week, today has just been tough. I dreamt of my ex and the girl he left me for last night and it has plagued me all day. Right now, as I try to sleep, all I can think of is how much I miss him. I hate myself for that because I know I am better off without him and I know he is still poisonous based on things he has said to me very recently and subsequent actions of his. But for all his crap he had his moments and that is what I am missing now. The betrayal hurts like hell, I want the pain to go but I have days like this and it just seems so far away from being in my past.
It's all compounded by the fact that I feel trapped at work. My job is going nowhere, when I have work to do it is nowhere near challenging enough for me. I keep applying for jobs and getting so close but then falling at the last hurdle. I just don't know what to do!
Need some good vibes please.
It's all compounded by the fact that I feel trapped at work. My job is going nowhere, when I have work to do it is nowhere near challenging enough for me. I keep applying for jobs and getting so close but then falling at the last hurdle. I just don't know what to do!
Need some good vibes please.
1 comments:
Gah! I am so sorry about the dream. I do think it is totally valid to miss someone who was once in your life. Even when you know you are better off without him. So hello to the feeling and then go off and do something fabulous that he wouldn't approve of! :)
Also I loved your list for what 2012 will bring! AWESOME.
Post a Comment